A divorced Nigerian woman believes that a man’s kindness is insufficient grounds to marry him.
She expressed her viewpoint in response to a lady on the microblogging platform, X, who encouraged married people to provide counsel with those considering marriage.
Kindness, according to the lady known as Rene, was not enough of a reason to marry a man if he lacked other essential attributes.
She wrote;
“I’m divorced so it’s up to you if you listen or not.
1. Whatever you accept while dating will get worse once you get married.
2. If he’s mean to his family, you’re in for a ride
3. KINDNESS IS NOT ENOUGH. I know the bar is low but if a man being kind is enough to sway you then you’re in trouble. Does he have the core qualities you value in a man, i don’t mean a perfect man but a man who ticks most of the CORE qualities.
4. If you’re desperate to get married you’ll do anything and take anything to stay married.
5. Compromise is key, don’t expect a perfect man, work with a man who’s willing to listen and grow with you.
There’s more but I’ll stop here
When asked to expatiate on why kindness is not enough for a woman to marry a man, she wrote;
“The reason why kindness isn’t enough is this…
1. A kind person might not share the same values and principles as you
2. A kind person may not love life the way you do.
3. A kind person may not fuck you the way you wanna be fucked
4. A kind person may be racist, a bigot , homophobic etc
Do you get it now?”
See the conversation below.
